Friday, March 9, 2007

Terrible 1's

My girl is going to drive me crazy. I can already tell I'm going to have my hands full. What a girl. Tonight I put her to sleep and went to the grocery store to get her some food. Well, I came back and apparently she woke up within minutes of me leaving. What a little bugger. I came back a while later to see that she must have thought it was day time and was roaring to go. hahaha!!!!

Once I got in that room she really didn't want me to leave. I had to kick some linen out of the room and she growled at me?!?!? grrrrrrrr!!!! She actually did that several times tonight. She is so funny. I think she is going to give John and I a run for our money.

Haley had to leave today. I really hated to see her go. When it was time for her to say goodbye to Katlyn, she had tears in her eyes. What a doll. Then, when she had to say goodbye to me, I could tell it was really hard on her. She was crying and it was breaking my heart. It must be so hard for her. Poor sweety. I wish we could see her all the time. I explained to her that we have to stay here for however long it takes to make sure that her sister was safe and healthy.

It really is very hard to be away from everyone. The way that I deal with it is by just trying not to think about it. I just try to focus on the things in front of me instead of thinking about home. It's almost as though I'm mourning a loss. It really does upset me. What can I do about it though? Nothing. It's in God's hands.

Sometimes I wonder why this is happening. I have no idea. I think it is so unfair that children get sick. My little girl is so happy and has no idea that something so wrong is hapening to her. How fair is that a one year old child should have to spend day after day locked in a room. She doesn't even have the freedom to even run free within her room. Katlyn hasn't even tasted the fresh air in 6 months. I can't wait until things are normal. I just want her to be able to do all the things other children can do, like being touched.

It really is pretty hard. You don't really understand this type of lifestyle until you're thrown into it. I don't feel as though you can. I didnt. Our poor little girl. Every minute is just so precious. I don't even know what I would do.

OK!!!! Enough whining. Today was actually a pretty good day. Katlyn's neautrophil's are 1400. That makes me feel even better than winning the lottery. This is it, another step in the right direction.